waiting…

i used to be a very impatient person who would totally freak out if someone didn’t call or show up when they said they would.  oddly enough—if you were under the age of 10, i had all the patience in the world; it was just those in the age of reason that i held to unreasonable standards of perfection.
once i had a baby, it was as if the patience gene was switched on.  except for my husband with whom i can be quite, and sometimes, unfairly demanding.  but for everyone else, everywhere else something changed in me.  i stopped caring if you called me back, or called at all.
not that i stopped caring about others.  i think of former friends i haven’t seen in ten years on a daily basis.  it is just that that kernel of obsessive worry over perceived rejections (if you don’t call at ten like you say, it must mean i’m not important to you), that kernel, has died.  it was replaced by the giant mommy seed. the one full of patience and understanding.
my friend was supposed to stop by last night and drop something off but never showed.  a couple of years ago, i would have been hurt and angry over the situation. last night, i told my husband that i figured that with all she had on her plate right now, i was cutting her some slack.  sometimes things fall by the wayside when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation.
so, i will wait.  it is good practice to become a more patient person.