The Beautiful Peace of Co-Sleeping

Since he turned one year old, every night around eight our son goes to sleep in his crib.  Sometimes he sleeps soundly until four or five a.m., sometimes he cries our for mama or daddy earlier, around eleven or twelve.  And then we bring him into our bed where he snuggles up to one of us, or both, and falls asleep. When we moved him from his co-sleeper where he slept next to our bed for the first year of his life, we made the conscious decision to allow him to return to our room whenever he needed to be with us.  Since he is still a little guy, he needs us quite a bit and so we are available to him with open arms and open hearts. 

Sure we could fight it.  Sure we could make him cry it out, but that is not why we are parents.  Our job as his parents is to create a safe, consistent, loving, and welcoming world in which to grow and mature in.  It is also to recognize when he is ready for more independence.  At sixteen months, he is simply not ready to be cut off from Mama and Daddy.  Yes, it means that we might have to give up some free time at night in order to reassure him of our presence, but we know that this time of baby and toddler hood is short, and that eventually he will be mature enough to sleep on his own.  There will be plenty of time for him to sleep in his own bed in the future and because we have built the foundation of security during his infancy and toddler years, he will sleep well in the big boy bed. 

There is peace in our house because we do not fight his need for us. I've been accused of raising a sissy by members of my family. I've been warned to stop or else he will never leave our bed.  I've had phone calls telling me to stop letting him into our bed: "What are you going to do when you have another baby? Share the bed?"

Yes, we will probably share our bed with our son as he will need extra reassurance if a new baby comes on to the scene;  he will sleep in between us, I imagine, as always.  The new baby will be in the co-sleeper. We will all be together and we will be a family. 

As for the charges that I am raising a mama's boy, a sissy etc.  I say this:  Who I am raising is Gabriel and I answer to his needs in the moment that he has them.  He is a strong willed, loving, delightfully happy, and smart little boy and I sincerely hope that he has all of these qualities as an adult.  I hope he is kind, I hope he is compassionate.  I hope he is a good father who puts his children first.  I hope he is peaceful and humble.  That is the man I am raising him to be.