Marriage and Family

Like any normal American couple, we have our issues. I'm an introvert and my husband is an extrovert. I leave empty diet coke bottles everywhere; my husband leaves his clothes on the bedroom floor (right by the hamper!) I like to purge; my husband likes to save. I love shopping; he would rather undergo a root canal. We both struggle with procrastination. We're both hypersensitive. We're both moody. And like every normal American couple, we argue. But we always work through our issues together. We always make up. As mad as I get at him, I am in love with my husband and he is in love with me. Being mad at someone doesn't change the fact that you love them. Mad is just a temporary state of being, love is the committed eternal.

Two nights ago, Gabriel lay in between John and I as we were going to sleep. He grabbed our heads and brought them close and said to us, "I love you both" before falling asleep. It is hard to write about how wonderful that moment was without sounding entirely sappy. I love the fact that my son is able to have two parents who are together. That we have this little family where we are delighted with him, and he with us.

Now, I am not a perfect mom by any means. I tried that once and it was too much of a mind fuck. I thought I had to meet all these standards, and post perfect family pictures, and "create moments" and "find meaning" in them. And then blog about them. It felt so smothering and a lot of it felt like I was stuck in The Feminine Mystique with the Problem that Has No Name. Everybody pose for the Hipstamatic!

We're not picture ready most days at my house. And that is ok. Half the time, I in my yoga pants and tank top til noon. And I keep forgetting to charge my camera batteries!

Today, we worked in the backyard, clearing the yard and flowerbeds of leaves and sticks. Gabriel dug in the dirt with his shovel, picked flowers, and played in the yard. My sister, husband,and I raked and filled bag after bag of leaves and yard waste. I suppose I could have blogged about it, taken some "perfect moment" pictures, and found some deep meaning in them. But it was more fun to just work cheerfully in the yard, get dirt in our hair and under our nails, and enjoy each others company. Gabriel handed me over a dozen little bleeding hearts that he picked from the bushes in our yard. Didn't get a single picture! But that's okay. I will always remember this life we live together