it’s tuesday and it’s cloudy

which is how i am feeling on the inside today-kind of downcast and cloudy.  My focus is good and my mood is pretty even, which is good, even if it is kind of on the more meloncholy side.  Things were going along swimmingly until I met with the mama/baby therapist this morning. She is very good, but sometimes she wants me to analyze so much of everything that it kind of takes the shine off.
For example: we were talking about my tendency to allow Gabriel the freedom to explore his environment without taking over the experience for him.   She asked how it was with my parents:  Did they give me the same kind of freedom?  I said that my mom was a bit controlling, always telling everyone they are doing it wrong, and taking over.  I said her reactions caused me to a great deal of fear of getting something wrong, of failing, of messing up.   This is not something that I want to pass down to Gabriel.
I also read in Waldorf and Montessori texts that the parent/caregiver/teacher should give the child a safe and interesting environment to explore, and then step back and observe, allow the child the opportunity to invite you into their space.