WHEN icicles hang by the wall And Dick the shepherd blows his nail, And Tom bears logs into the hall, And milk comes frozen home in pail; When blood is nipt, and ways be foul, 5 Then nightly sings the staring owl Tu-whoo! Tu-whit! tu-whoo! A merry note! While greasy Joan doth keel the pot. When all around the wind doth blow, 10 And coughing drowns the parson's saw, And birds sit brooding in the snow, And Marian's nose looks red and raw; When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl— Then nightly sings the staring owl 15 Tu-whoo! Tu-whit! tu-whoo! A merry note! While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
William Shakespeare
This has been a trying week. My husband and I learned that someone whom we thought trustworthy shared some correspondence of mine with a third party. The letters were very personal and meant for the reader alone. We feel betrayed by both the person who violated our confidence, as well as the third party. After all, they had a choice to respect our privacy and they didn't.
Formerly comfortable and close relationships are now awkward, filled with hurt and anger. A horrible letter was written to my husband filled with vitriol about me. Unfair, cruel things. Hateful words.
Where there was once almost daily communication there is now silence and distance.
Things were getting pretty heated. Nasty exchanges. Resentments bubbling to the surface. Advice was given to step away from the drama, avoid the fray. To let things settle. To avoid a situation where the emotions keep getting re-triggered.
It is hard because it is still so very fresh, the wounds are not yet scabbed over. Rejection tends to bring out the devastated in me. Injustice brings out the angry. The past week has been a cycle of mad and sad, anger and tears. I've cried a lot.
It probably doesn't help that the anniversary of my father's death was this week as well. It definitely doesn't help. Grief is bad enough when you aren't grieving some other loss. And on top of that...our time with winter is not over. After a beautiful couple of days where I could smell sunshine and earth and the promise of spring we were hit with a ton of snow.
Cabin fever and difficult emotions made for a very irritable me today. I am struggling to forgive but I am still so very hurt. You see, I really liked the person who betrayed our confidence. Even though there were many things we did not see eye to eye on I valued her presence in my life. And now: this icky feeling about it. all.
How do we move on from hurt? How do we choose growth over being stagnant in sad feelings?
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