Thursday: Some sad, some pretty, some peace

These last few days were difficult. Struggling with a depressive episode lurking just beneath the surface of my skin. Feeling aimless and unfocused one minute, on the verge of tears the next, and always tired and apathetic.
I am working hard to act opposite to emotion, to write even though I would rather stare blankly at the television. To craft, to journal even though my arms are resistant. To hold Gabriel when he needs to snuggle with mama, even though I want to crawl under the covers and be alone. To be gentle with myself, and to find or create moments of prettiness amidst the chaos created by my toddler.

my grandmother's bowl and my little bird feeding lady sit on top of my late father's bookcase.

the beginnings of a late summer nature table

Frustrated about something, I went out to the market to buy apples, bread, cheese, and yogurt. When I left the house was in post-Gabriel chaos, which wasn't helping my mood.  When I came home John had cleaned the kitchen and was sweeping the living room floor when I came home. Peace! Calm! Order!  Restoration!